Yay it’s Bachelor Monday! This week we got three hours of The Bachelor, the final three dates and the women tell all! It was a night full of drama, so let’s dive in.

The show began with the end of Raven’s fantasy suit date. “Let’s just say Nick is good at what he does.”-Raven. Well honey I hope so,  he’s thirty freaking six. Looks like Nick gave Raven that big O. Then the really weird montage of Raven dancing around town. Like was that supposed some visual representation of what the big O is? Just no. Too corny. Anyway, I love Raven I give her props for admitting on national television that she’s only been with one guy and hasn’t you know what. She’s a girl who thinks highly of herself and I f with that. Unfortunately, I don’t think she’s the one Nick picks. She’s too young, but there’s no doubt in mind she’ll be just fine.

On to Rachel’s date. First off, who the heck thought cross-country skiing would be a good date? That crap is hard asf. As a skier, getting stuck on the flat parts is the WORST THING EVER and it’s not like they were even dressed in proper ski gear. So, I totally feel you Rachel. I didn’t pay too much attention to the date because it’s pointless since we already know she is The Bachelorette. Watching it with that critical eye, I can see how their connection just wasn’t as strong as Vanessa’s and Raven’s with Nick. My personal favorite line was “I know we are going to go so much deeper than we’ve gone before,”-Rachel. Literally Rachel, literally.

And lastly, Vanessa’s date. Another stupid date. Nick, are you trying to give Vanessa the flu? I loved how Vanessa kept cursing. Love me a person with a good potty mouth. She earned more points in my book. What I love about Vanessa and Nick is that they always have real conversations. None of it feels forced and it feels like we are actually watching a true couple talking. There is no doubt in my mind Vanessa is the one for Nick. He keeps saying how he likes to be challenged and boy does that girl challenge him. She’s not just stroking his ego because she wants the final rose. She says how she’s feeling and she’s not going to change herself to impress Nick. That’s badass. Also really producers? Don’t make the girl but a damn shirt on after the fantasy suit date. We obviously know what they did that night, but come on let us use a little much of our imagination.

Rachel getting sent home wasn’t too sad because we knew it was happening and she’s going to be the Bachelorette. Nick, telling a girl how great she is doesn’t make her feel much better. You still didn’t pick her. But, Rachel is going to slay as the Bachelorette and I can’t wait to watch!

Alright on to the Women Tell All! The night where you are trying to figure out if these girls were even on the show. Poor Nick had to walk in to my personal hell when he crashed the sorority house viewing party. “I literally almost fainted.” “He’s actually very hot like super hot.” Don’t you just love how they play into those stereotypes?

Let’s start with Liz. I wish she told Nick in the first place that she was hung up on someone and that’s why she didn’t pursue him. It would have made her seem so much less crazy. Maybe she did say it and the producers painted her differently. She’s actually a really good person and I’m glad people got to see that. I love how one second the girls are attacking her than the next they are like GIRL POWER we love you. You girls are so two- faced. Smh.

Taylor. The actual worst. I hope I never have to hear the words “emotional intelligence” EVER AGAIN. What normal person uses that phrase?? “I was giving feedback,” like OKAY, sure. Girl stop walking around like you are something special with your Masters Degree in psychology. It’s freaking PSYCHOLOGY, the most popular major ever. I was rolling my eyes so hard when she starting crying her fake tears. Really? Your life has been so hard after the show? People are so mean to you. Boohoo. You signed on to this and you brought it on yourself. Not getting sympathy from anyone. I wanted to give Corrine a standing ovation when she got up to get a glass of champagne. YAS GIRL. I feel you. I would need to be drunk to deal with these stupid bitches too. When she tried to say that mental health counselors are discriminated against or under appreciated???? Girl you are talking out of your butt. Obviously Taylor is the one who needs counseling.  Sure, you have a whole other party of your life yet you don’t freaking show it and don’t stop talking about intelligence. OKAY. And then expects an apology. GO AWAY.

CORRINE. Honestly, this girl has grown on me since the whole Taylor debacle. That whole feud actually made me like her. I think she’s just a victim of editing and is definitely not as stupid as everyone thinks. Best line of the night: “Everyone naps just like everyone poops.” The girl speaks the truth. These girls were freaking out so much about a stupid nap who freaking cares. You petty girls were just intimated by her that’s it plain and simple. Corrine did not owe Taylor any apology and I don’t know why the other girls think the two of them should have buried the hatchet. They never have to see each other ever again after this show so who the heck cares. I totally support Corrine with not apologizing. I wouldn’t have. The way she talked about Raquel was sweet. This girl isn’t some heartless bitch like Taylor tried to make her out to be. And the cheese pasta at the end was the best part. I wish I could have had some. I hope we see Corrine in Bachelor in Paradise. I need her one liners in my life.

Kristina had me and the whole place in tears. The girl has an amazing story and I really hope she uses this platform to do some good.

The rest of the night was boring and I could really care less about the girls grilling Nick. I can’t wait for next week to see if my prediction is right!

 

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